Unwrapped in ashes
Unveiled as I move forward
As I move closer
As I move in

To you

Your breath cool against my skin
In the heat,
In this stifling air

This seed you’ve sown into my soul
Into my once good soil
Uncoils and grows

Ready in the sunlight
Ready in the darkness of my soul

…Your soul…

You own it

Whispering in my head
Whispering in my flesh
Whispering to the beat of my heart

Changing its rhythm
Making it yours

Pounding out your name
Lovely, lonely, and deathly – all at once

Shouting your name
How can these people be so deaf?
So short-sighted?

In this moment we pull close
And this poet becomes just another human being

My words are so futile here in your arms

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39 Responses to Undoing

  1. Undoing.. seemed to be part of doing more of undoing.. Your poem, it set my emotion flowing.. Happy rally

  2. Sam says:

    What a flow of emotions… what a flow of words… loved it.

  3. Julian Javier the Cyber Mushroom says:

    i feel your pain… nicely done! i love the flow. oh such emotions!

    Please Check Mine too: “Beyond Silent Wars”

  4. thingy says:

    Wonderful flow and imagery. Love it. : )

  5. Rashmi says:

    Beautiful poem….so emotional………

    • NotATameLion says:

      fiveloaf…EXCELLENT poem. I felt the two poems (mine, yours) resonate well together. Though yours has a haunting effect that I feel mine only strove for. Well done.

  6. Jingle says:


    very touching words…truth and powerful flow..


  7. Krisse says:

    Lovely and intense, I like this alot!

  8. seabell says:

    Great poem, full of emotion…

  9. haggishead says:

    as all said before great flow and great tension!

  10. ladynimue says:

    Oh my .. I so loved this !!
    wow !

  11. Jingle says:

    I seem commented before, (check your spam, help and remove this part)

    moving words..well penned…stay strong…

  12. Jingle says:

    beautiful ending…………..


  13. sri sri says:

    Lovely, sweet and beauty – all at once

  14. Neezes says:

    Great stuff – the strong, helpless emotions come across really powerfully.

    • NotATameLion says:

      I’d say abandoned (as in giving oneself to…) more than helpless. But I love the insight of this comment. Who knows. Gravity might just be too strong at this point. But why would I ever want to pull away?

  15. Stephen says:

    Wow! Powerful, sensual, exciting and just a little dark on the edges.

  16. Vinay says:

    oh my, this is like sadly romantic… to have such words go futile, such a shame!

    Rally Week 41 – My Poetry

  17. Paul says:

    Liked the flow, beautiful close imagery with a good emotional depth.

  18. -D says:

    Loved the imagery. 🙂

  19. NotATameLion says:

    Thanks -D.

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